Parsha Re'eh

Oy this portion gives me such tzuris! The Torah wants us to kill our wives for blasphemy? How about for salty borsht? This parsha also has our god commanding us to rejoice in her presence. Like we need a command for that? What kind of a Jew is gonna kill all his enemies, take their land, homes and clothes, establish a holy empire and then not party? The commandment should be not to party like Nadav and Abihu i.e. get so carried away that Ya as got to burn you to death from the inside out - Oy, that's gotta hurt!